I got what you really want...

Kissing has been on my mind lately. I've been wanting to kiss someone. Not just any kiss, though. One of those kisses that left your brain oozing out of your left ear. Kisses which start endless make-out sessions before sex ever became a part of your existence. You know, the tender groping we all identify as being passionate. Which brings me to my next entry...

In my post-teen years...

I had a boy. He was a sweet encounter. He had innocence that I so innocently snatched away from him. The Freshman was a sweet boy. He was also a reckless driver with the Little Red Corvette I trusted him with. I can remember the day I kissed him. It was a crisp November Sunday. I spent the weekend with my, then, best friend. I used her house as the front spot for all of my encounters. I never wanted the guys I met to know I lived in the projects, right up the hill. No matter how educated, well-versed or cute you are, if a man finds out you live in the projects, you're automatically stereotyped as some chick that sucks dick in an elevator for Now & Later money.

I walked down the block, and he was playing football in the street with some of his friends. I was always attracted to the dudes that never got attention. Because, I knew, if I showered them attention they never received, they would damn near kiss the very ground I walked on.

Again, soul destructive bullshit I've thrusted upon myself for the last 10-15 years.

After the street ball game was over, we talked and laughed until dusk. He was amazed at how I was so attentive to him. But, then, I was surprised at how I was attracted to his inner glow. I mean, if people had gotten the chance to know him, instead of looking at him on the outside, they would have known he was the coolest person in the world to know. Well, minutes turned to hours, and hours into more hours. Before I knew it, I ended up inside his porch with the lights out, kissing him until I couldn't breathe. I mean, we kissed each other so hard, and so long, that our lips were vibrating when we were done. I can remember us being pressed on the wall so wildly, we were ringing the upstairs apartment doorbell. I can remember just loving his aura, his scent, his whole being.


We were simply adorable...

It was really great.

I dedicate this whole entry to The Freshman. Thank you for making me feel beautiful, intelligent and outrageously sexy. You were a bright spot in my life, for sure. My heart will always have your name etched on the right ventricle. Thank you for allowing me to make your prom night the best night you'll ever remember. Thank you for your laughter and your passion. Grown men in my relationships haven't been able to do what you've done in one month.

Love for always and forever...


Your Senior Cheerleader...