Thank God it's finally over...

2004, in a nutshell, has been the most reprehensible year I have ever had. Period. This year has taught me that the world is, indeed, an ugly place, and no one will EVER take care of you, but you.

I know I sound bitter, but it just goes on to show how much the people on this planet suck. I've tried to be understanding, cordial, and even down right sweet, but, no matter what the cost, someone is going to suck you dry, regardless of how sweet you are, or can be.

By the tone of my typing, you should know what happened. Actually, I expected it to happen. No one tells the truth anymore. No one admits wrong anymore. It's just my wanting everyone to be as honest as I am, if not more. Why can't people just be straight about who they are. I am.

Maybe I shouldn't anymore.

I've noticed, I've set all the bullshit people tell me, to a melody so high, even I couldn't reach it. That stops here and now.

I'm trying not to let my heart grow cold and bitter, but sometimes the betrayal I feel is so large, I disappear inside of it. I've tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Chalk it up as experience, and just let bygones be bygones.

Never again...

Life has been one bitter refrain after another this year. I know 2005 is going to be a great year. I'm cleaning house this year. I'm getting all of the garbage out, and I'm redecorating. I'm investing in me this year. I'm leaving love for the romantic, hopeless, and naive. I think I'll steer clear, and stay away from vampires with brown eyes and cracked smiles.

Neoteric...

I shall start my 2005 off with beauty and substance. It starts off with fresh thoughts and new ideals. I'm opening all the windows and the doors, and letting the clean air in. I'm stifled right now. 2005 is gonna kick ass. I'll make sure of it.


Thank you for reading, listening, and speculating how insane I really am! :)



Happy New Year...