And the winnner is...





Congrats, Jamie...

Apple Bottoms & Pudding Cups...

I think the intervention stage of my life is over. The Lion roared too damn loud for the last time. So, he's officially chained in the dungeons of ended conquests. Venom is creeping back, and I'm not to be found. Incubus is trying to make his presence known, and I'm playing gleefully absentminded.

I've made my peace with all of these entities. I've let them go, and mourned each and every one of them. They chose not to be with me, so, I didn't hold on. Now, it seems they've realized they've been forgotten, and they want the magic again.

NO!

There was a time when all of this attention would have had my mind and body reeling. Not this time. Each one of them has taken something away from me, and want more to take. I haven't any left to give. Funny, all I wanted was to give. Now all I want is to take. Take back what belongs to me. Even though, I handed it over willingly.

Men At Work...

So, now....

There's the Carpenter. I haven't loved anyone in a long time. I haven't been confused by anyone lately. Once I realized all of my confusion was self induced, it was easy to stop the fraud.

I've met the Carpenter, and he reminds me of two people. He reminds me of Venom, and he reminds me of the Lion. Their good qualities. I like his openess, and wit, like the Venom has. I also like his hunger, like that of the Lion. But the cool thing about the Carpenter is, I can laugh with him. I haven't been laughing lately, and that's been taking a toll on me for a bit. It seemed everywhere I turned, there was some drama going on. I haven't had drama in my life for a long time, and I'm not about to start some shit now. The Carpenter doesn't have any drama. Well, none that I've seen yet. If drama does follow him, then he'll just have to join the others in Davy's Locker beneath the ocean of my mind.

Giggles...

It's cool how you can meet someone and the giggles start to tickle your ribs. You start to feel good again. You start to feel somewhat whole again. Like the holes in your soul you allowed someone to poke start repairing themselves. I've been walking around with a sheer soul lately. I've stuck to my revolution to repair and restore my heart, and things are looking pretty good. I'm noticing now, I don't need the relationship, but I do need the intimacy. I miss the closeness I've shared with a few people. I'm not worried though, somehow, the intensity, and the intimacy will find me again. I'm most certain of it.

One...

So, um...

Happy Single's Awareness Day!

Today is the only day in history you want to stab someone with a BIC pen because they didn't buy you the chalky candy hearts that say,

"OH YOU KID"

Today is the only day where you want to knock the shit out of someone when they ask you if you want a piece of their candy, or smell their roses....

Fuck flowers, candy, and commercial romance!

And fuck you too, Mr. Mailman, for not bringing me cute cards, but bills...


I need sex...

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Sometimes I wonder what men, or pseudo men, think when they ask women things.

Peep game...

Thug Life: I need a baby mother. You'd be a perfect candidate.
Me: (changes to hoodrat speak) What?
Thug Life: You got what I'm looking for, and I'm lookin' to have a kid by 2007, latest.
Me: First off, I'll require a few things before I push anything through my goodness.
Thug Life: I don't think that'll be hard.
Me: Yeah? I need a house w/a two car garage, with two cars in it, and I need a ring.
Thug Life: Oh word?
Me: Not just any ring, I require a 2 carat www.tiffany.com Lucida set rock, nigga.
Thug Life: Aiight, I'll marry you then....

Since I received the proposal I dreamed of all my life, I kindly declined.

Did you lose weight?

This was a touchy subject between the Programmer and I. We stopped speaking for a minute behind this. Not because I was a healthy woman, but, since I lacked a certain sexual attraction that only he deemed necessary, my apple had too much bottom, so to speak. This diminished who I was as a woman, in his eyes, and it made things quite uncomfortable. It even caused a rift between us, that never repaired. Since then, I've learned that beauty in someone else's eyes, does not, and will not define who I am as a woman. One of the toughest, most beautiful lessons I've learned in this university called life.

We've been speaking lately, and I have to say, I understand why I loved/hated him. But, I'm comfortable in knowing I've grown as a woman, and I've realized things about myself I could have never known if we were still together. My strength, my pride and my beauty are things I would never sacrifice for love ever again.

During a lunchtime IM...

DC: What are you doing looking at my profile?!?! What gives?? LOL
Programmer: I wanted to see you again, geez...
DC: It's cool...(reminiscing on A train rides)
Programmer: I know this was a touchy subject with us, but did you lose weight?
DC: Actually, I did. Nothing serious
Programmer: good for you
DC: Good for me?!?!? I wasn't one M&M away from a gastric bypass.
Programmer: I didn't mean it like that
DC: How did you mean it then?
Programmer: I meant it as a compliment, I mean, I remember how things were
DC: Yeah, the good old days, when I lacked a certain butt-nekkid lustiness in a certain man's eyes...
Programmer: ........
Programmer: you look good
Programmer: don't forget that
DC: never, but not because you said so
Programmer: always the revolutionary
DC: Don't forget that

Motivation...

During these moments, I've noticed how much I've grown as a person. It's almost frightening. Usually, I'll take this information, internalize it, and somehow make it my fault for these men feeling the way they do about me. But, finally those days are gone. Gone are the insults, and torture I induced upon my spirit because I didn't have a tiny waist, and size 7.5 shoe. I still have a sexy rack with eye candy cleavage, and an apple with just enough bottom to turn heads. But, beyond all of this vanity of my container, my soul is unbreakable. Think Bruce Willis vs. Samuel Jackson. Think Superman's dick while erect. Think squeezing a cold egg in your hand.

Unbreakable...

What type of ABW I am...

You are a Curse-You-Out-in-a-Heartbeat Angry Black Woman... Let's get ready to rumble! This ABW is no joke. Sistah girl is like a world-class boxer who will pummel those who would dare spar with her. Always on high alert of any little slight, real or imagined, this ABW has been known to knock out opponents with a blistering combination of body blows (comments about victims' physical appearance) and the crowd favorite, the below-the-belt blow (remarks about home life or sexual prowess). Most opponents don't last the second round and are often left in tears, catatonic states of shock, mouths agape in front of sell-out crowds. FAMOUS ABWs: Aunt Esther from SANFORD AND SON, Mary J. Blige, Mo'Nique

Yeah, that's me...


Diva, what's an ABW?.