Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Sometimes I wonder what men, or pseudo men, think when they ask women things.

Peep game...

Thug Life: I need a baby mother. You'd be a perfect candidate.
Me: (changes to hoodrat speak) What?
Thug Life: You got what I'm looking for, and I'm lookin' to have a kid by 2007, latest.
Me: First off, I'll require a few things before I push anything through my goodness.
Thug Life: I don't think that'll be hard.
Me: Yeah? I need a house w/a two car garage, with two cars in it, and I need a ring.
Thug Life: Oh word?
Me: Not just any ring, I require a 2 carat www.tiffany.com Lucida set rock, nigga.
Thug Life: Aiight, I'll marry you then....

Since I received the proposal I dreamed of all my life, I kindly declined.

Did you lose weight?

This was a touchy subject between the Programmer and I. We stopped speaking for a minute behind this. Not because I was a healthy woman, but, since I lacked a certain sexual attraction that only he deemed necessary, my apple had too much bottom, so to speak. This diminished who I was as a woman, in his eyes, and it made things quite uncomfortable. It even caused a rift between us, that never repaired. Since then, I've learned that beauty in someone else's eyes, does not, and will not define who I am as a woman. One of the toughest, most beautiful lessons I've learned in this university called life.

We've been speaking lately, and I have to say, I understand why I loved/hated him. But, I'm comfortable in knowing I've grown as a woman, and I've realized things about myself I could have never known if we were still together. My strength, my pride and my beauty are things I would never sacrifice for love ever again.

During a lunchtime IM...

DC: What are you doing looking at my profile?!?! What gives?? LOL
Programmer: I wanted to see you again, geez...
DC: It's cool...(reminiscing on A train rides)
Programmer: I know this was a touchy subject with us, but did you lose weight?
DC: Actually, I did. Nothing serious
Programmer: good for you
DC: Good for me?!?!? I wasn't one M&M away from a gastric bypass.
Programmer: I didn't mean it like that
DC: How did you mean it then?
Programmer: I meant it as a compliment, I mean, I remember how things were
DC: Yeah, the good old days, when I lacked a certain butt-nekkid lustiness in a certain man's eyes...
Programmer: ........
Programmer: you look good
Programmer: don't forget that
DC: never, but not because you said so
Programmer: always the revolutionary
DC: Don't forget that

Motivation...

During these moments, I've noticed how much I've grown as a person. It's almost frightening. Usually, I'll take this information, internalize it, and somehow make it my fault for these men feeling the way they do about me. But, finally those days are gone. Gone are the insults, and torture I induced upon my spirit because I didn't have a tiny waist, and size 7.5 shoe. I still have a sexy rack with eye candy cleavage, and an apple with just enough bottom to turn heads. But, beyond all of this vanity of my container, my soul is unbreakable. Think Bruce Willis vs. Samuel Jackson. Think Superman's dick while erect. Think squeezing a cold egg in your hand.

Unbreakable...