I feel like expression...

I felt like writing tonight. Not because I haven't, but I think I have something to say. The episodes in my life have slowed down considerably, since I the boredom I've felt with it all.

My dating cesspool, has emptied out, and I've weeded out all the undesirable. I'm a dating pack-rat. I don't get rid of people because they serve no purpose in my life, I mean, hell, you never know when you need a friend to talk to.

Honestly, I haven't felt like talking since the incident...(I'm sure certain eyes will know what I mean...)

Reflection...

I've been looking back on the days when I needed to vent about certain things in my life, thus, bringing my thoughts here. I haven't had much use to write about those things, these days. Edges have become smooth, questions have been answered, and puzzles have been pieced together, finally. In my last entry, I was professing a love for Venom. I still love him, but I'm glad I can transition my love in a different way. I see more of him, and since I can see those things, I love him for him, not just an occasional sex puppet. Even though, he's still attractive to me, my vision of him is in a state where I'd never want to touch it. What we have now, sex would never be the answer. Sex would be our ruin to a friendship we both sought out in others. I'm glad we've found each other in this. He ended up to be my soul twin for sure.

Which leads me to...

The Crown.

This is a quite different union than I'm used to. After much separating, organizing, and realization of my emotions, I was ready to be a teammate again. I just didn't know I would end up here.

I'm so not complaining...

I'm loving every minute of this. It isn't just my initial feelings, then something happens, and I bitch and moan here. I mean, I probably will, but I don't feel like that right now. He's serious enough for me not to write sonnets about how much I want to bathe in his rain, or run in his snow. I just want to be near him. For what seems to be years, I've been running into cats, liking them/hating them, then just erasing them from memory and cell phone sim cards. This meeting actually happened kind of backwards.

I met him, then didn't meet him, then met him again.

Ask not any questions, I don't understand it myself, but, I like it. I like him. I've liked a lot of people in this diatribe, but, he's the only one that affects me like Venom affected me these past months. I thought I could never feel like that again, because it was so fleeting, but, it's so serious, I want old dude to spray my pillows with his cologne to remind me of the late night talks, afternoon nap enjoyment, and morning sex. The things I've experienced with him, remind me of what I've needed. I've said that before, but, I guess I've been trying to recapture something that never was. Now something has been captured/attained into everything that is.

We've had our miscommunication, just as couples do, but I find myself wanting to control what I usually try to control. It's really hard being the control freak, that I finally can admit to being, and reverting my thinking. I think that's where I sabotage things.

Damn, I just admitted that?!?!

I find myself trying to perfect wrongs, that are actually meant to be wrong. I'm not perfect, and I don't want anyone that I decide to share space with, to think that I am. I'm sure he knows I'm flawed. Especially with the time we've spent. It's the kind of time that I love spending. Writing expressions of needs/wants within the beauty of our words. Actually, he's been the reason why I've been wanting to write again. He makes things right. He's the honey in my sweet tea. It's not bitter anymore. I'm so glad the bitterness has gone away. I'm sure he'll find out my idiosyncrasies, but, the real test is if he can handle them. Most have tried, and failed. This one seems to fare very, very well. He's so manly about it all, and he knows how to deal with the woman, without dismissing the child. No one has known how. He knows all without knowing. How could someone be so right for you, and be so close to you, without your knowing? He's been close to me, I mean, breathing distance close, and we had to find each other through fiber optic lines. Who knew electrodes and circuits could bring forth my instant salvation? Shit, he's my own personal Darius Lovehall. I mean, that's actually saying more than saying something. That's saying everything without actually saying it. Every black woman wants a Darius Lovehall. I can finally say I found mine.

Her Royal Lioness...

There's pretty much nothing more to say, but, welcome to my place. Get comfy, and stay a while. I'm making rigatoni with garlic bread. I'm not telling what dessert is, though!

Kisses...