tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68138892011-04-21T15:10:42.245-04:00Deluded Memoirs of a Bamboozled BitchShit happens when you say entirely too much......DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.comBlogger731100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1144116292351761592006-04-03T21:59:00.000-04:002006-04-03T22:16:53.800-04:00Tengo razón, usted está equivocado...Sometimes I feel like I'm on some Highlander shit."There can be only one..."Sólo uno puede ganar......DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1142650995845975422006-03-17T21:56:00.000-05:002006-03-17T22:03:15.860-05:00I'm not one to be political, but...When babies like this one, speak such truth, you know something is wrong with our society. Especially when her truth resonates so damn loud that even white conservatives start getting nervous. I guess they're getting nervous at the fact that we might wake up from this bad version of Bamboozled.Read on...White Nationalism Put U In BondageWhite nationalism is DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1139977980898855422006-02-14T23:29:00.000-05:002006-02-14T23:33:00.910-05:00R.I.P. James "J-Dilla" Yancey....There will never, ever be another like you. I wonder what you and my Pop will come up with...Watch over Dilla, Daddy!DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1138888952540103592006-02-02T08:57:00.000-05:002006-02-02T09:02:45.383-05:00It's time I said goodbye...This will be the last entry of the Deluded Memoirs. It's been an interesting ride, and I'm sure I may return, but for now...Life is more important.I love everyone who made this journey what it was. I enjoyed every minute of it. But, alas, the song has to end sometime...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1136350982559529252006-01-03T23:59:00.000-05:002006-01-04T00:05:24.533-05:00Happy New Year...The new year came in just as I intended. I spent time with my favorite person, had some good food, and got some sweet lip at the ball's drop. It couldn't have gotten any better, until I took this quiz.Who Am I?AALIYAH: Like Aaliyah, you are one in amillion, girl. You don't care about what othersmight say about you, you just keep it real anddo you. You are a sweet, caring personDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1135523005582865252005-12-25T09:57:00.000-05:002005-12-26T01:45:07.143-05:00It Wouldn't Be Christmas Without Them...Christmas In Hollis - RUN DMCIt was December 24th on Hollis Ave after darkWhen I see a man chilling with his dog in the parkI approached very slowly with my heart full of fearLooked at his dog, oh my God, an illin' reindeerBut then I was illin' because the man had a beardAnd a bag full of goodies, 12 o'clock had nearedSo I turned my head a second and the DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1131330273356284662005-11-06T21:20:00.000-05:002005-11-06T21:28:13.783-05:00Resolution...I've been a bad bad girl,I've been careless with a delicate man.And it's a sad sad world,When a girl can break a boyjust because she can.Don't you tell me to deny it,I've done wrong and I want toSuffer for my sins.I've come to you 'cause I needGuidance to be trueAnd I just don't know where I can begin.What I need is a good defense'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal.Sing it, Fi-Fi...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1130114648336113802005-10-23T20:30:00.000-04:002005-10-23T20:44:09.946-04:00This is me, now...I'm sitting here at my brother's house, and I've had a long talk with my sister-in-law. I've been doing my usual spazzing out, and I've been trying to make sense of my nonsensical life's drama. I have trust issues as it has been documented in this diatribe, but I'm wondering now, could it be the very reason of my undoing. I mean, could it be the very reason love eludes me so? DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1129228183522845522005-10-13T14:29:00.000-04:002005-11-06T21:16:55.253-05:00A Day In The Life of A Workin' Kitty...I start my day as usual, nothing special. Coffee in the morning, calls until noon, everything else until it's time to go. Nothing serious. Faces are all the same to me. Usually, people remind me of other people I've worked with. Like they've changed their clothes, and hair, but they always remain the same set of people that I've crossed paths with. Which DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1125968624617143572005-09-05T20:26:00.000-04:002005-09-05T21:16:49.303-04:00I feel like expression...I felt like writing tonight. Not because I haven't, but I think I have something to say. The episodes in my life have slowed down considerably, since I the boredom I've felt with it all. My dating cesspool, has emptied out, and I've weeded out all the undesirable. I'm a dating pack-rat. I don't get rid of people because they serve no purpose in my life, I mean, hell, you DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1121785696899686382005-07-19T10:53:00.000-04:002005-07-19T11:08:16.906-04:00Here we go again...Like I've always said, things are so confusing that they're clear...Venom and I have been great. Our friendship has blossomed into something really cool. We talk, and share things that only we understand. We act, think, talk and dream alike. Although I've said I could never be in love with a man like him, I'm starting to rethink the whole process, again. Owno...Even thoughDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1120871998742748092005-07-08T20:20:00.000-04:002005-07-19T10:37:32.266-04:00Dear Summer...A concerto of moments...Smoking on Blacky's porch on Eder Terrace...Sitting on cars, eating Italian icees from the trucks at 3:00AM...Watching Mr. Lou manage the Summer court leagues...Drinking Vodka straight from the bottle days after Little Sean died...Waiting for the sun to go down, just to get dressed...Memorizing K-Solo...Swimming with LTM...The model, the secretary and the gangsta...CrushinDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1120531016942905622005-07-04T22:29:00.000-04:002005-07-19T10:13:07.120-04:00Needs vs. Wants...I need a new career. I need a new car.I need a sense of security.I need a pedicure, badly.I need some closure.I need to know everything's okay.I need a cigarette.Wants vs. Needs...I want kisses.I want morning sex.I want to feel safe.I want a love letter.I want stability.I want clarity, again.I want a cigarette.Damn nicotine fits...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1120398016405790282005-07-03T09:37:00.000-04:002005-07-08T21:53:08.796-04:00Luther Ronzoni Vandross...It must be wonderful to finally dance with your father...Rest in peace, Beautiful One...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1119406605144246522005-06-21T22:03:00.000-04:002005-06-21T22:18:29.603-04:00Infected...Today was just as any other day. Just relaxing after a hard day of trying not to work really hard. Then I got a call. A close friend let me know she had contracted a case of syphilis from some dude she thought she was in love with. Now, even though we talked everything out, and found out that this thing was curable, I was scared shitless. Not because of catching something from herDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1118431978362333742005-06-10T15:17:00.000-04:002005-06-10T15:32:58.370-04:00This is for you...I spoke to my cousin yesterday. She's in a bit of a quandary. Love eludes the both of us. Eludes us so, that, we've thought of new explorations and new adventures to embark on. My previous mishaps have led me here, so, I'm tired of being a sexual Indiana Jones, trying to find my lust-filled Temple of Doom. So, Coco...The days are hot and lazy with the thoughts of summer loveDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1117652662591045522005-06-01T15:00:00.000-04:002005-07-19T10:13:41.373-04:00Burners & Tags...I think every woman feels this way at one time or another. You have to build a brick exterior to shield the hurt that is hurled toward you. Even still, ways are always found inside. Once situations are over and done with, nothing is left but their spirits scribbled on you in some way, shape or form. I've been feeling like this lately. Got an eraser?DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1115495722253990532005-05-07T15:34:00.000-04:002005-05-07T15:55:22.290-04:00First things first...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DMBB!!Before I knew it, the year mark had passed, and I hadn't even updated. Well, alot has been going on lately, and this is a good time to just reflect on what has been happening.Cock Teasing and Social Climbing...I've noticed alot of changes in the way I deal with things now. I used to worry about how people received me, and how I affected them. Now, DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1113274323078732292005-04-11T22:30:00.000-04:002005-04-11T22:58:34.550-04:00It should be against the law......to be that damn sexy over fiber optic lines...Venom, although very dangerous to me, is one of earth's sexiest creatures. He has one of those voices that expresses sheer emotion. When you hear him, you'll know what he's feeling, at that given moment. Tonight, he's dark. He's not often dark, but he retreats into his soul, and his eyes become shadows. You can DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1112899713019781352005-04-07T14:41:00.000-04:002005-04-07T15:16:57.343-04:00Cleansed...I know.I consider myself pretty insightful. It's understood what I needed to learn throughout this journey.I'm disappointed I had to learn it here.Finally, a moment of clarity...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1112337203607910032005-04-01T00:43:00.000-05:002005-12-18T21:01:19.786-05:00I like the boys up top from the BK...When I'm in route, on my way to any given destination, I'm fascinated by the display of bravado and masculinity. It's in the swagger of a pair of baggy light blues, or the suede camel Timb.erlands, fresh out of the shoe box. It's on his lips, whether blunt purple, or lip balm pink. It's in his eyes; disenchantment with the streets, or his lusty admiration DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1112243642513416212005-03-31T00:00:00.000-05:002005-03-31T23:04:24.363-05:00Freedom of Speech...When I started this dialogue with the virtual world, it was meant to exercise some demons I didn't know how to get rid of. I'm not apologizing for what's written and if anything, it's to help others to understand what a woman goes through when thrust into the abyss of the dating pool against her will. This is my story. Nigga, Ask About Me...So you felt you were wronged?How DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1112240915374791812005-03-30T22:46:00.000-05:002005-03-30T22:56:00.696-05:00It's A Boy!Zahir Ali Nash...Welcome, Manchild...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1111533609868140292005-03-22T17:49:00.000-05:002005-03-22T18:40:08.036-05:00Impatience...Why am I plagued with this disorder impatience? Each time I want something, I tend to rush it. I want it like now. I want things to go my way, and that's the bottom line. Even when I was smaller, I wanted things at that moment. No matter what the cost. Either it's called being spoiled, or driven. I'd like to call it driven. I don't mind working hard for what I want. I think DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1111377206753173892005-03-20T21:16:00.000-05:002005-03-22T18:46:19.226-05:00What this is...Carpenter and I spent some time this weekend. I know I've made sweeping judgments about the characters that have auditioned for my show, Fuck Bridget Jones: The Bamboozled Diaries, but, somehow I feel I need to comment on this particular occasion. Carpenter has shown me what I've needed in people. I've needed to be comfortable. I've needed to be an adult. I've needed to feel DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1111209824707124012005-03-19T00:19:00.000-05:002005-03-22T17:48:58.200-05:00In a word or two...You like me, you're frightening,You're always, exciting,The timing, has got me, this could be love!It's crazy, amazing,Embracing, it takes me,'Till I'm free, baby, this could be love!Enough said...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1110405519232614582005-03-09T16:57:00.000-05:002005-12-18T20:30:18.080-05:00March 9th...Long Live the King~for B.I.G.The crown wasn’t always worn by Jay ZBefore him the king of NYC was B.I.G.Beyond the eastAnd his legacy is deeper than dyin’ for beefYou best believe all emcees since the early 90’sOwe respect to the one who lived notoriouslyIt’s a tragedy that kids these days don’t know his true abilitiesAll they hear is “One More Chance” and “Biggie can’t you see”They DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1110251317734791072005-03-07T22:10:00.000-05:002005-12-18T20:33:18.446-05:00How I wish...This image says alot of things about my life, and how I view Sisterhood. Frankly, I don't view sisterhood at all. It's a shame, but that's how it is. This picture represents the Sisterhood I wanted to be a part of. Sharing our differences and similarities, and loving us for us. Sadly, this is not my life. I come from a large family of women. My grandmother had 14 children, 8 ofDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1110145750201099832005-03-06T15:46:00.000-05:002005-03-06T16:56:24.613-05:00Adam & Steve...Here's how it went down. I was riding the *P.ATH train yesterday, and since I haven't been on the train lately, things really done changed. Whenever I ride this train, I never had to worry about the beggars and upstarts, like I did on NYC subways. I was sitting there minding my business, and across from me, was a man who was reading a tattered book, covered with Nas's Street DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1109810405704465712005-03-02T19:01:00.000-05:002005-03-09T12:44:27.506-05:00Question...Why is it that when you've decided to move on with your life, people want back in, even though they were the ones who left you in the first place? I'll never understand that, but...I'm enjoying my time alone, because for some strange reason, I don't think it's going to last much longer. I'm starting to like Carpenter, and for once, I'm being myself. No marketing/advertising ploys on DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1109620041275791732005-02-28T14:44:00.000-05:002005-02-28T14:48:12.176-05:00And the winnner is...Congrats, Jamie...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1109564563606535852005-02-27T23:02:00.000-05:002005-02-28T01:04:55.156-05:00Apple Bottoms & Pudding Cups...I think the intervention stage of my life is over. The Lion roared too damn loud for the last time. So, he's officially chained in the dungeons of ended conquests. Venom is creeping back, and I'm not to be found. Incubus is trying to make his presence known, and I'm playing gleefully absentminded. I've made my peace with all of these entities. I've let them go, DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1108408846074365572005-02-14T14:17:00.000-05:002005-02-14T14:24:24.860-05:00So, um...Happy Single's Awareness Day!Today is the only day in history you want to stab someone with a BIC pen because they didn't buy you the chalky candy hearts that say, "OH YOU KID"Today is the only day where you want to knock the shit out of someone when they ask you if you want a piece of their candy, or smell their roses....Fuck flowers, candy, and commercial romance! And fuck you too, MrDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1108015511381964822005-02-10T01:23:00.000-05:002005-02-10T01:13:16.523-05:00Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Sometimes I wonder what men, or pseudo men, think when they ask women things.
Peep game...
Thug Life: I need a baby mother. You'd be a perfect candidate.
Me: (changes to hoodrat speak) What?
Thug Life: You got what I'm looking for, and I'm lookin' to have a kid by 2007, latest.
Me: First off, I'll require a few things before I push anything through my DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1107825591636603892005-02-07T20:18:00.000-05:002005-02-07T20:24:38.100-05:00What type of ABW I am...
You are a Curse-You-Out-in-a-Heartbeat Angry Black Woman... Let's get ready to rumble! This ABW is no joke. Sistah girl is like a world-class boxer who will pummel those who would dare spar with her. Always on high alert of any little slight, real or imagined, this ABW has been known to knock out opponents with a blistering combination of body blows (comments about DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1106764311280483812005-01-26T13:30:00.000-05:002005-01-26T13:31:51.280-05:00When the definition of madness is love...
What do you do?
Scream and run for the hills...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1105811054774759712005-01-15T13:09:00.000-05:002005-01-15T18:35:37.653-05:0015 Days In...
Today marks the 15th day in the New Year. It's been a nice time for me so far. Nice and confusing. As always. I long for the day where things come less confusing and more concrete. I've been having feelings for people that I know I shouldn't be having, but, the more I contemplate, the more confused I become.
My work is routine and mundane. I have to write to keep my sanityDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1105403140051558062005-01-10T19:23:00.000-05:002005-01-10T20:00:41.316-05:00Revolutions...
This year, I will be a warrior. I'm a warrior by nature, but I've been allowing my countryside to be invaded by renegades with less than savory motives. All of the things I've wanted and stated here, have not necessarily changed, but, they have evolved into something more feasible. It's almost like I've grown up, in a sense. I think I know what I want now. I'm not in love DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1104458499841035082004-12-30T20:53:00.000-05:002004-12-30T21:05:42.530-05:00Psychological Warfare...
I think I ended 2004 with the biggest bang ever.
The ball dropped and I'm sore.
The Lion came in, and I pranced out like a lamb.
So, ends my last entry for 2004.
Happy Motoring!
DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1104203760554612482004-12-27T21:58:00.000-05:002004-12-29T00:14:33.800-05:00Thank God it's finally over...
2004, in a nutshell, has been the most reprehensible year I have ever had. Period. This year has taught me that the world is, indeed, an ugly place, and no one will EVER take care of you, but you.
I know I sound bitter, but it just goes on to show how much the people on this planet suck. I've tried to be understanding, cordial, and even down right sweet, but,DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1103774260351124272004-12-22T22:31:00.000-05:002004-12-29T00:13:38.593-05:00Rambling...
Last fight?
Some cousins and I were going into KFC, and these gutter chicks thought since we weren't from the area, we couldn't get down...We did...I lost one of my favorite earrings, along with blacking out, and banging some broad's head against a door in anger. I need to work on that rage thing.
What makes you cry?
Loneliness. I wonder why men choose the glossed, weaved chicks DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1102773401283866482004-12-10T20:38:00.000-05:002004-12-12T18:44:14.933-05:00Can I be the one to quench your thirst?
A few events have happened over the course of a week. I've been entangled in a web of lust and sensuality that seems to stick to me wherever I go. Thoughts I have of Venom have been entirely too much to bear. I think I love him, but then I dismiss the thought. Is it too soon to love him? I'm not sure anymore.
Be your girl...
At first, I thought, I DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1102228353753240392004-12-05T01:29:00.000-05:002004-12-05T01:32:33.753-05:00Sketches in Blue...
Can't sleep.
My repose has been invaded again.
I need a cigarette...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1102100678129323332004-12-03T13:58:00.000-05:002004-12-03T14:58:58.280-05:00Afflicted...
No matter what people say...
I'm gonna love him anyway...
Because he brought joy to me...
And that is why I'm gonna be...
A lover,
A friend,
A soldier to the end...
And that's how it's gonna be...
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy...
Love abounds in the softest DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1101525526702046712004-11-26T22:03:00.000-05:002004-11-26T22:18:46.703-05:00If I give myself to you...
What will it mean? Will I fall in love with you when you inhale my lotus? Will I lose respect for you? Will you lose respect for me? Are we going to enjoy us afterwards?
It's totally evident that I want to give myself to Venom and it confuses me. I want to be his friend, but then I want to give him everything he needs. When I find out more and more informationDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1100671650575155752004-11-16T23:53:00.000-05:002004-11-17T01:09:07.423-05:00HBDC...
Birthday celebrations are always good. Friday, The Chateau Society came through with a *Coldstone cake, and we did the bonding thing. That was really fun. My birthday was on Saturday, and I saw/heard from people that wished me well on my birthday, and, I got to spend a greater part of the day, with Venom.
We laughed, joked, and just enjoyed each other's company. Honestly, I can't DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1100030205136631542004-11-09T14:48:00.000-05:002004-11-09T14:57:58.280-05:00Tainted visions...
Rain
A caramel/cream colored boy
Walking along an island road, paved; All alone
No shoes, no shirt, just shorts
Warmed by the tranquil, delicate drops
Smiling to himself
Owning his own luminous spirit
In the cozy opulence of his heart
Missing you... DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1099708811102971852004-11-05T21:31:00.000-05:002004-11-05T21:44:10.890-05:00Hide and Seek...
Well, guess what?
Venom is back. The Hidden Venom, that is. Why he decided to say something now, I don't know, but, he's definitely back. He's made his presence known, and I'm definitely taking notes.
I'm not the same woman I used to be, when I last wrote about Venom. I think I've went through my share of misadventures to last a lifetime, after bumping into him. I thinkDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1098068292900175992004-10-17T22:24:00.000-04:002004-10-17T23:32:13.283-04:00An open letter to the Programmer...
Let me go.
All I want is to be left alone. Your memory has been haunting my subconscious lately, and it's getting a bit frightening. I want to forget you. Forget what it was we had. Forget Saturday mornings fragrant of pancakes after I've slept off your special attention the night before.
I want you gone.
There was a time when I did want you. DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1097558323483787692004-10-12T01:48:00.000-04:002004-10-12T01:43:24.543-04:00Cape Fear...
I started this dialogue with the virtual world, in hopes that I would find what I was looking for in myself. I did. Actually, I found what I don't want. Looking for a significant other has been an undertaking, to say the least. So many entities and personalities have crossed my path; and shown me things I could've only revealed here. I've noticed the male species I've had the DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1096948917497996022004-10-04T23:11:00.000-04:002004-10-05T00:15:12.963-04:00I got what you really want...
Kissing has been on my mind lately. I've been wanting to kiss someone. Not just any kiss, though. One of those kisses that left your brain oozing out of your left ear. Kisses which start endless make-out sessions before sex ever became a part of your existence. You know, the tender groping we all identify as being passionate. Which brings me to my next entry...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1096350205543910262004-09-28T01:17:00.000-04:002004-10-17T23:37:39.980-04:00There's always something there to remind me...
I really need to develop some type of cold-blooded chromosome within me. I'm saying this because, no matter how I try to treat people good, I end up scraping the bottom of the pudding cup. Now, I'm a strong individual. I take good stock in myself, even though most people try to chip away at the esteem. Whether it's weight, looks, or something DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1095398602090653322004-09-17T01:41:00.000-04:002004-10-18T00:09:05.996-04:00I can't sleep tonight...
Battling thoughts of rage is really hard for me these days. I've been involved with so much unnecessary nonsense lately, it's interfering with my slumber. Since I started this log, I've dealt with many entities. Far to many to mention. All with their own quirks, qualities, and quarrel-ridden psyches. Let's go into our latest episode with...
The Throwback...
DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1094948671820456592004-09-11T20:21:00.000-04:002004-09-11T20:24:31.820-04:00It's been a long time...
I know I've been neglectful in letting the whole virtual world in on my life, but, things have been a bit hectic. Once I clean out the cobwebs, and figure out what I want to say, I'll be back. Just give me a little more time.
Just a little bit...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1090764173994527552004-07-25T09:21:00.000-04:002005-12-18T20:45:48.310-05:00Mic check, 1, 2... Yesterday was the greatest day. I spent my Saturday afternoon with the Rock Steady Crew on their 27th Anniversary. History was made yesterday. This was the first time the RSC was ever showcased in Newark. And I was there. The pics below were taken with my phone, so, please nevermind the size! I decided to go alone, because everyone who said they would come check it out,DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1090204713567658542004-07-18T22:06:00.000-04:002004-07-18T23:35:25.736-04:00Tell 'em why you mad, son...
Why am I mad, you ask?
I'll tell you why. I'm noticing each time I decide to even let someone in, something happens that is just too dramatic for me to deal with. I've been trying to let go of the past, embrace my present and look forward to my future. With every chance I get, I try to make new friends, discover something new about myself, and absorb it DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1089860908351725102004-07-14T22:49:00.000-04:002004-07-21T18:46:38.303-04:00I'm makin' moves and you runnin' in place...
Okay, so...
Sometimes I wonder to myself if I want entirely too fuckin' much. All I want is love, right? Hell, all I want is a decent check without all the deductions. What do I get? FICA and a whole lot of disappointment.
I went through a whole two documentations about the Hidden Venom, and the sick part is, the Venom was so hidden, he hid from DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1088996892883205412004-07-04T21:30:00.000-04:002004-07-31T20:08:15.966-04:00I got a right to be hostile...
Just when I thought the Hidden Venom would take away all the torment that I've been experiencing since the Programmer fucked my world up, Venom adds to the problem. All I want to know is, when did I allow my heart to feel something for someone I barely knew?
I can't lie. Venom brought me something I've never experienced. For that one week, he brought me life DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1088364522373771922004-06-27T14:58:00.000-04:002004-07-15T15:13:30.470-04:00SugarHoneyIcedTea...
This has been the best time of my life. The Hidden Venom has really been a blessing in the passing days. It's funny how you can meet someone, and know nothing of who they are, or where they're from, but, just by a conversation, feel like you've known each other for lifetimes.
The Incubus once told me a story about a couple in love. They spent their lives together in DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1087947924091894402004-06-22T19:25:00.000-04:002004-06-22T20:19:38.163-04:00Never knew it felt like this...
Them. I've given up on the Venom Squad, as a whole. They bore me now. Each one has tried to capture me, and horribly failed. In the beginning, when the newness had new car smell, I was cool with it all. The late night chats, emails and attention had me open for a while. Now, it's all mundane. It seems they have all morphed into the same cornball dude, and it's DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1087512925757362242004-06-17T18:53:00.000-04:002005-07-31T23:34:22.126-04:00The Man From Glad...I'm not going to make this a eulogy since my Pop passed last year, but I would like to make this a tribute to him.This, folks, is Eddie Gladden. One of, if not the best drummer in the history of jazz. Now, there are great drummers, but none of them were as great as he was. Drumming was his lifeforce, but he meant more than that to me, now that I'm an adult.Background story...DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1087347070697848092004-06-15T20:32:00.000-04:002004-06-16T07:55:41.776-04:00I'm every woman, it's all in me...
I've been quite the social butterfly. There have been a few that have caught my eye and captured my interest. Read on, I'll explain...
The Five Deadly Venoms...
Yes, there are 5. I like them all, and for once in my life, I'm not committed to any of them. It's a good thing. Let's discuss the Fab Five, shall we?
1. The Incubus - Yes, everyone, he is DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1086354863409491882004-06-04T09:10:00.000-04:002004-06-04T09:16:03.286-04:00Frustration...
Me: I'm missing you...
Him: That's sacrilegious...
Somebody help me...
DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1086219970487583962004-06-02T19:07:00.000-04:002004-07-23T13:12:23.820-04:00Pink cookies in a plastic bag...
I've got a bone to pick with myself. Already. I've let so many entities into my world, that I've lost count. I've been thinking about sex lately. No, let me say that again. I've been wanting sex lately, but not in the normal tense. I've been wanting intensity. That's it. Intensity. I've been wanting to scream someone's name. Make a call out to God, to help me DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1085291539401224972004-05-23T01:50:00.000-04:002004-06-28T18:27:53.650-04:00The Incubus has resurfaced...
And I haven't the strength nor the resistance to fight him...
Ain't that a bitch!DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-108497754232702782004-05-19T09:41:00.000-04:002004-05-19T17:08:32.590-04:00How I do....
I've been feeling odd lately. Although I've come home to myself, I have to get settled into the new digs. All the thoughts, schemes and capers I've come up with to help me along with this moving of thought in process, have not worked, and left me with more boxes of brain clutter I have to unpack. I decided to have a talk with some people, and I've decided I'm going to train in DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1084766500176871942004-05-16T23:24:00.000-04:002004-05-23T18:05:10.380-04:00Never mention purple, again...
I had a Prince lovefest, Friday night. It was the first time, in a long time where I let myself go, and just enjoyed me. I like to have moments alone where I can contemplate, talk to myself, and just laugh at my total lack of seriousness. Let's just say, purple panties broadcasted over Instant Messenger does not a conversation make.
Go ahead, laugh, I know youDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1084232303088533152004-05-10T19:38:00.000-04:002004-05-10T19:48:37.243-04:00Just one of those days...
I feel like I'm in a classroom, naked, surrounded by old boyfriends, crushes and one night stands, and I'm being asked to write the answer to a math problem on a blackboard.
32 + 32?
I'm horrified at this scene, because, I don't know the answer.
How wicked is that?
I don't even remember what color socks I have on.
DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1084038812958227572004-05-08T13:09:00.000-04:002004-05-10T17:14:33.256-04:00Sometimes it snows in April...
I've been debating on updating lately. I've tried to formulate sentences to describe what I've gone through in the last few days, and then tried to write, but my heart wouldn't let me babble the words.
It's been a quite interesting week. Things have settled down. The incubus has not been haunting my dreams and inducing my nightmares lately. He's been dormantDivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1083434467440070552004-05-01T13:42:00.000-04:002004-05-10T17:14:46.910-04:00Last night...
I wanted to update this blog with a lonely entry. I tried to write what I was feeling, and it was getting pretty grim. I was feeling sorry for myself, which is something I try not to do, but with the past month's events, I was certain I was headed for some sort of breakdown.
Just then, my best friend called. She had been feeling the same way too. Betrayal is a bitter pill to DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1083036093933295962004-04-26T22:34:00.000-04:002004-05-10T17:15:00.073-04:00I think I'm free.
The spell is broken. I no longer feel the conflict that has wrecked my life for the past month. I woke up Sunday morning feeling love. I kept having several dreams of kissing several people in several different scenarios. It didn't feel illicit. I didn't feel like a whore. I felt genuine love. The funny thing is, the incubus was not involved. I dreamed love. I dreamed DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1082760038047681722004-04-23T18:03:00.000-04:002004-05-10T17:15:15.590-04:00Overcast.
In the day. On my mind.
The incubus is infected with the common cold, and I'm a bit relieved. In his weakened state, his sting isn't that potent. I'd like to pamper him with tenderness.
Last night...
I sought intervention with The Society at our usual spot. The Chateau is our special place of gathering for these kinds of confab, over liquor. Martinis are so nice when DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6813889.post-1082597793268984602004-04-21T21:21:00.000-04:002004-11-03T14:48:34.206-05:00 Since January 2004...No, since November 2003, I've been elated, snubbed, fucked, and downright confounded by a man I just don't seem to quite understand.
Just when I think I have everything under control, the rug gets pulled from under me, and I've felt like I've said entirely too damn much.
Here's how it happened...
On November 1, 2003, my boyfriend of 4 years declared he no longer DivaCatscratchnoreply@blogger.com0